So whoopee, yay, it's here, New years Day (queue the U2 song), and I'm happy to say that my day will not be wasted sleeping in and nursing a hangover and I'm not dehydrated either. Man, I sound old. Five years ago if you had told me that there would come a day when I didn't like beer anymore I would have gotten depressed and went out and got piss drunk! Okay maybe not, I was never that kind of beer drinker thankfully. And thanks to my former neighbor who was a Whiskey Salesman for helping me to realize that I'm not a drinker and that whiskey and my Native American blood do not mix.
So on to the festivities! Umm nevermind, this is seriously just another day to me folks. I'm not a huge football fanatic, I don't get obsessed over watching a bunch of sweaty dudes lay on top of each other. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a homophobe and I do enjoy the occasional college football game every now and then (Go Ducks!). Maybe it's just the non-conformist in me but I can't justify dedicating my life to that crap. A day off of work, for me this is a chance to play with my kids and help my wife in dealing with the every day insanity of raising three, very active, young boys.
So, 2008 is here and everyone has made their resolutions, those who know what a resolution is, and I have made a decision to change my lifestyle (health, not sexuality) that just coincidentally happens to begin in January- I don't do resolutions, this year anyway. This is all fine and dandy but the pessimist would like to see some things go away in '08 or at least see less of them. So heres the start of my list, feel free to comment and add your own-
- Less sunken-faced tweekers
- Less hostile rednecks that think they rule the road and have the right to tailgate other motorists, speed and brake at the last minute on the ice and completely disregard cyclists, pedestrians and pretty much anybody but themselves
- Less Britney (her sister should not be a replacement either)
- Less of multiple stories of the same event on the news/media websites
- Less War
- Less Government Spending/Deficit
- Less tax increases
- Less driving to work when possible (more cycling)
- Less of hippies telling you that you should not drive at all no matter what (If they had a job/kids they would understand)
- Less City Buses driving in the bike line
- Less SUVs
- Less price gouging on gas and everything else
- Less crappy music on the radio. How about a classic rock station that, one that plays more than 20 songs, Eugene?
- Less idiots riding the wrong way in the bike lane
- Less Wal-Mart/Wal-Mart shoppers
- Less fat people riding on the motorized carts at the grocery store reserved for individuals with legitimate ailments- applies mainly to Wal-Mart
- Less fat smokers with handicapped parking permits- again, mainly Wal-Mart
- Less Oregon Duck fans booing their own team and being drunken a-holes in general, you represent the rest of us in a negative manner and give us a bad name
- Less people obsessing over watching athletics and more actually getting off their fat asses and participating in a physical activity. How hard is it to ride an exercise bike or lift wieghts while you're watching football all day?
- Less, actually No knowledge of religious affiliation amongst government officials/candidates
- Less defiance from my kids
- Less noise in my house
- Less corporations
- Less gambling/glorification of gambling and the loose classification of poker as a sport
- Less NASCAR- not a sport either, stands for Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks
- Less pet breeders
- Less middle-class white kids speeding around in small cars with annoying loud mufflers, thinking that they are thugs
- Less people worrying about what two consenting adults want to get married
- Less TV
- Less teenagers pooping in my driveway
- Less people worrying about the fairness of mountain lion hunting with dogs and more people worrying about population control, urban growth, conserving land and cougars attacking humans
- Less abdominal pain
- And finally, Less Bush Administration
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