Taking Back What's Rightfully Ours!

Since my wife's favorite bicycle was stolen from our garage on Mother's Day, things haven't been the same. As she scoured the web for a new cruiser nothing she found seemed to be exactly what she desired and I feared that she would convince herself settle on a bike that she would not be happy with after a month. All this emotion came to an end last Thursday on my ride home from work.

As I was eastbound on B Street I spied a female on a cruiser about a half of a block ahead of me. Immediately I zoomed in taking note of the bike's features as has become routine since the Mother's Day incident. The bike looked pink but I'm colorblind so I looked to the fenders, which were undoubtedly white, and then I saw the handlebars, unmistakable in all their oversized glory. At that moment I knew I had found her bike. In an attempt to control the rush of adrenaline, I tried to talk myself out of what I was witnessing but finally the sight of the gray seat that read "Iron Horse" would not allow me to do so. Immediately, I attempted to not draw attention to myself, passing the pink beauty to look as if I was just going about my business. I made my way across 14th street and flipped a U-turn almost sure that the rider would turn onto 14th. As my instinct did not let me down, immediately I got the Police on the phone as I proceeded to follow the suspect south on 14th street, thru the 7-11 parking lot, stopping 2 blocks over at a house on the corner of 12th and main to talk to a couple of guys that she obviously knew. As I concealed myself across the street behind a bush on the corner, I remained on my bicycle while keeping the police dispatcher updated on all details and events. I cringed as I witnessed the suspect park the bike on its side, choosing not to use the extra muscles in her foot to set the kickstand. She walked in the house with one of the men while the other remained on the porch looking out toward my direction. I was unsure if he had spotted me but I had no cares about that as I had found my wife's bike, the police were on the way and all I had to do now was keep the bike in my sights and wait for the authorities to arrive on the scene. Not three minutes passed and the suspect and what I now assumed was her boyfriend emerged from the house. Her boyfriend proceeded to mount the bike while he talked with her. They then headed out, him riding the bike while she walked. As they headed toward 7-11 presumably for a jumbo fountain drink or a malt liquor, I kept my distance while the dispatcher checked to see how far out a patrol car was. I had little worry that they would attempt to flee if they caught on to me, knowing that if they were stupid enough to consider such an act the pink beach cruiser would be no match for my trusty Redline 925. About halfway through the grueling 2 block trek to the store the boyfriend stopped and the girlfriend proceeded to hop on the bike with him, easily exceeding 300lbs of weight on the bicycle. I muttered, "I could kill those bastards." and then quickly remembered who was listening on the other end of the phone. As the couple entered the 7-11, leaving the bike outside unlocked, I headed across the street to the Grocery Outlet parking lot; picked a good, concealed viewing spot and hoped that someone else wouldn't take the bike while they were inside. I then realized that I had been disconnected from the police dispatcher and quickly redialed. The dispatcher picked up immediately, informing me that a patrol car was just freed up a few blocks away. As the couple proceeded to head back in the direction from whence they came, I followed. The boyfriend then began pointing or making hand gestures at something that appeared to possibly be in my direction. As I was trying to decipher if they were on to me a feeling of relief fell over me as I looked behind me to see two police cars heading in our direction. I motioned, pointing to the couple with my wife’s bike and the officers both flipped on their lights and stopped the suspects.

Immediately one of the officers flipped my wife's bike upside down, resting it on its seat and handlebars at which point he verified the serial number confirming what I was already sure of. As it turned out, the gentleman I had been trailing bought the bike for "his girl" on Mother's Day at about 5:30 for $25. $25? What a deal! I must be an idiot. I thought I got a steal (no pun intended) at $135. His story seemed fairly legitimate as he named of a known local crook as the seller of the bike. When I mentioned my trailer that was stolen along with the bike, the suspect informed me that the "dealer" he bought the bike from was pulling a trailer. The police then cited him and informed him that unless he could prove that he purchased the bike from said thief he would be charged with "Theft by Possession." I contemplated whether or not to have these charges dropped but knowing that unless there was pressure on him he would have no motivation to assist the authorities in prosecuting the illegitimate cycle vendor, I decided to stick with protocol and allow the police to charge him.

You can imagine my wife's excitement as I called to inform her of my whereabouts and the afternoon's goings on. She headed down in the Mommy Missile, I strapped the bikes to the back, the suspect apologized, shook hands with us and we were headed home with her long-lost bike! Despite all her disbelief, I told my wife that I knew we would see that bike again someday but I had no idea that it would be this soon and that the bike would still be in nearly the same condition it was in when stolen. The moral of this story though, I told her, is that if you spend enough time on a bicycle you don't miss much. I guarantee that I would have not found the bike on my commute home last Thursday had I been burning fossil fuels, as I would have been on a different route, inside a bubble and not nearly as alert to my outside surroundings.

Reward: $$Your Dignity

As I try to come to terms with recent losses due to a security breach at my home I find myself diligently scouring Craigslist, hopping back and forth between the Bike Classifieds and Lost and Found. In doing so it makes sense to check out the posts that others have left in regards to their losses, I figure that as I am out about my daily activities it takes little extra effort to keep my eyes peeled for other's possessions that have been lost or snatched out from under them.

Unfortunately, I have found that most of these posts rub me the wrong way- people offering rewards and asking for a return with "No questions asked." This begs me to ask a question, What the hell have we become? You are begging a thief to return what is rightfully yours and you are willing to pay them for it? This is desperation at it's worst. Or is it greed? One thing's for certain, while I will do everything in my power in an attempt to recover my wife's pink cruiser and my burley trailer, the last thing I'm willing to do is advertise to pay someone money to be a decent citizen and do their civic duty. As far as the no questions asked portion goes; you can bet your ass that if you show up at my house with my bike or trailer, amidst all the jubilation I will most definitely ask you where you found them. And don't assume for one minute that if I see some tweaker cruising the ave on my wife's bike, I'm going to politely walk up to him and say, "Excuse me, Sir? I'm sorry to be a bother but I do believe that bike belongs to me. It is none of my business where you acquired it from but if you don't mind I'd like to have it back now."

These items belong to us. We have paid for them with our own hard earned money and not only are we entitled to have them rightfully returned but we also deserve to know how they found their way back home, in the rare instance they should. I'm not saying that I'm not more than willing to show my appreciation for someone who helps me out and returns to me what is rightfully mine. I am saying that I will never compromise my humanity by offering you money to return what has been taken from me. In the legal system I believe that such a "reward" is referred to as ransom.

So here's my promise to you, good citizen's of the world, if you can return my wife's bicycle and/or trailer, you will be rewarded but not by me, by yourself, knowing that you've helped your neighbor. I will expect nothing less should I do you such a service. This reward is one that you will always carry with you and cannot lose and that my friend is priceless.

Burglarized

Congratulations. Broad daylight, you stroll into a suburban garage and take the most convenient, handsome bicycle of the bunch and a trailer to match. You either have guts, are extremely stupid or you're one bad son of a bitch. With a Rottweiler in the backyard and a Bulldog in the house only separated from you by wood and sheetrock. You're premeditation must have been a short one. Sorry about your belt, I tried to hang on to it for you in the event you returned but the police officer insisted on keeping it, apparently they like evidence especially when they are dealing with a felony such a Burglary 1. But who are they kidding here? You know as well as I do that even if you do have a criminal record, you're punishment from the police will be minimal at best on the rare occurrence that you are caught. Once you discovered that your belt was missing I hope that you found comfort in learning that the trailer has a pressure attachment for mounting to the bike frame and therefore a belt to attach the trailer was not necessary after all.

I would like to thank you for not touching my son's bike as my wife has another bike, the Cruiser was only a bike of leisure for her. For stealing a child's bicycle would be, well honestly I would categorize such an act as just slightly less tasteless than stealing a mother's bike on Mother's Day. Oh, I know that you had no idea that the bike belonged to a mother and may have even been too high to remember that it was Mother's Day but these things considered I'm sure that any human being in this day and age may have reassessed such an act.

It should also be known that with your new bike you are eligible to receive a free tune up from REI. Just bring the bike into the store and they'd be happy to service it for you and send you on your way. My apologies in regards to the tear in the vinyl of your new Burley flatbed trailer, that was a condition that existed when I purchased the trailer two weeks ago. Had you waited a few days, you may have a more sound trailer as I was planning to patch that tear this week. I'd still be more than happy to patch it if you'd like to bring the trailer by at your convenience. In addition if at any time you are not completely satisfied with your new bicycle and trailer, please return it for a full refund, this guarantee extends to anyone who may take possession of these items for the life of both the bicycle and the trailer.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

STOLEN BICYCLE
& TRAILER

WOMEN’S IRON HORSE PT CRUISER STOLEN FROM MT. VERNON AREA ON 5/11/08 (MOTHER’S DAY)
STOLEN WITH A BLACK BURLEY FLATBED TRAILER WITH APPROX. 3” TEAR IN VINYL ON THE FRONT OF THE FRAME. PLEASE
CALL (541) 736-3758 Or Springfield Police at 726-3714

Honorable Mention...

I just decided to drop by and visit the Collin's Cycle Shop Blog tonight to see which of my fellow essay contest entrants won the fixie and you can imagine my surprise when I, well, read for yourself (Thanks again to those of you who voted for me)- http://collinscycleshop.wordpress.com/2008/04/29/we-have-a-winner/

An Insiders View of Corporate Layoffs

Some unfortunate news that I've been reluctantly anticipating for some time now came to the forefront today when my former employer, a local RV manufacturer, announced job cuts. I'm sure it comes as no surprise to any of us given the state of the economy, gas prices and the cost of a luxury RV. In addition another local RV manufacturer announced last week that each of their employees would see 5% pay cuts while their CEO would see a 25% cut. Such sacrifice by an RV CEO is astonishing to me as a former insider and I'm sure it may not sit well with other CEOs within the industry.



While the attitude and the mood of the corporate brass during these times may appear solemn to those of us on the outside whose only view is through the media, I can assure you that when the lay-offs are complete the upper management will breathe a sigh of relief and will be happy to have a burden lifted from their shoulders. In fact from what I have seen, I would estimate that in 90% of cases relating to job cuts or "lay-offs" of this sort the mood will be much brighter mainly because of the people who are gone. The corporations see this as an opportune time to "Weed the Garden" so to speak. I'm not talking about just axing the weak but axing those who have pissed off management for one reason or another. This being the case, nobody is safe here- from those whose personalities just don't mesh with the good old boys', to those who were unfairly hired into an un-posted position due to their relation to or status with a management head outside of work. Nobody is safe here! Step on the wrong toes just once and you'd better beware!



I, myself, was fortunate enough to have survived 3 large scale layoffs while under the employment of said RV company but i'm not sure that fortunate is highly accurate description of seeing friends pack up their desks and head home one last time because some jackass with in imported mahogany desk can't control his liquor consumption or some clown's brother needed a job or some sorry excuse for a technology director insisted that his minions give a company laptop to the son of VP who was more than willing to pay for it or how about when this same ignoramus suggested that an employee cancel long distance on their home phone and just use their company cell phone for long distance because that's what he did, and what about that Internet service on the corporate jet that only works 50% of the time at best, that's right I said corporate jet and what a luxurious flight that is. All the liquor you can handle, snacks, bottled water to further promote global pollution, and even a little debauchery and sexual harassment on the side. However I may have felt through these times I'm sure was nowhere near comparable to what my fellow employees could have been feeling in their freshly unemployed state but perhaps the worst feeling of all was that feeling of teetering on the edge. The feeling you get when the company announces that layoffs are coming, in order to appease the shareholders. You know the old men who have more than their fair share of currency and are unwilling to part with any decent sum in which a charitable organization may greatly benefit from? We would often get the announcement anywhere from 2-5 days ahead of time, as standard employees. But then there's the supervisor world, a world I was allowed into only when convenient. We would usually get the heads up on layoffs up to a week ahead of time so that we had ample time to prepare for the untimely departure of our piers and by this I mean that we would get the names of people slated for layoffs way before they knew that they were being issued a one way ticket home. A whole week? Really, we need this much time? Does it seem ironic that during such times there was plenty of gossip to go around the management world of which the main subjects consisted primarily of the employees to be laid off? So with anticipation building, I would do my best to hold back and not tell people that there day was just around the corner and they should open up and tell the Director the truth about himself. Lay-off day would come. And go. And I would get furious, only to have my supervisor tell me that it was pushed back a day or two but for why nobody knew. These were people's careers, we were playing with here. Real people. People with families to feed, car payments and mortgages. But who cares right? They had pissed someone off or did something a different way or didn't have the right personality, screw their families and most of all screw their lives. Looking back now, realizing what I had allowed myself to be sucked into and take part in, never happy about it mind you; I realize just how oblivious I was to it all, yet somewhere in the back of my mind I knew just how immoral the ways of this outfit were.



In regards to the recent announcement made by my former captor, perhaps the most ironic piece is where the CEO states something to the effect of not being able to predict the continuing decline of consumer confidence caused in part by deteriorating credit markets and record-breaking crude oil prices. Seriously? Do you watch the news, sir? You're a college graduate for crying out loud! If these are the wits of a millionaire, that fully explains my current financial status! To add to the absurdity, this character contributed a healthy (by normal American's standards) chunk of change to the 2004 reelection bid of our current Commander in Chief. You know that really funny guy that heads up the government? The government who won't do a damn thing about oil prices, oil consumption, price-gauging or pollution. Yes Oil, you know the stuff that is used to make the gasoline that is quickly approaching $5 a gallon and is used to fuel large RVs which happen to burn it at an average rate of 5 miles per gallon or so I'm told. Hmmm where's the problem?

It is a sad thing to see some really great people, some of the best I've ever worked with, at this place once again. As an outsider now, my view has changed and I think I truly understand what a terrible thing this is. On the other hand, the brass deserve what's coming to them in the form of failure but the unfortunate irony of all this is that at the end of the day, even if the company was to fold, the brass will be the last to feel the hurt. Send the Comptroller home jobless and he's still feeding his family, in fact it would probably be an opportune time for him to take a much needed vacation before he decides his next move whether it be with another corporation or as an independent consultant charging hundreds per hour. Send the guy installing cabinets home jobless and he's trying to figure out how to afford to feed his family, put gas in his car to go apply for new work, and make this month's rent.

Return to The Land of the Single Speed

It is said that among what we take for granted in life are the simplest of things that bring us so much pleasure. It is only now that I understand the truth behind such a statement for I have returned from the land of the Fixed Gear, humbled, fatigued, aching and mildly disappointed. Of all the legend of this new way of life, all the excitement, all the lore I have learned that this indeed is not the way for me. For in my conquest, I found myself alone, my plan to acquire the assistance of the team at Collin's was halted when I learned that I was not selected on account of their decision to adhere to their own bureaucratic ways. Determined, I would forgo the journey alone. Sure the Peugeot could not make such a journey in my care alone, I devised a new plan. Such a plan would have to involved the most trustworthy craft of my fleet, the Redline 925. Already thriving in the land of the single-speed she was the only cycle I entrusted my life to on a daily basis.

Upon learning that I would not be assisted by the army of my preference I quickly moved into survival mode, planning out how I would venture into unchartered territory alone with the 925. I had heard by many that such a feat with a craft such as mine would be an utterly easy journey but I was still hesitant to proceeded. I waited patiently for three days and on the fourth day made my move. Unbolting first the rear tire, followed by the chain tensioners and then the fender I proceeded to remove my chain and clean it. Once clean, I flipped the wheel to the side where the fixed cog lay attached to the hub and proceeded to reattach the chain followed by the tensioners, the axle bolts and finally the fender. After some minor adjustments of the chain tensioners, my journey was complete. Setting foot in this new land was yet to come.

I stepped into the pedal clips, quickly, to not be noticed as a foreigner. The first revolution of the pedals was one unimaginable as I felt not a choice but to pedal. Trying to slow the craft was also a new technique as it was nowhere near as simple as the coaster breaking I had experienced on my cruiser back on the Single Speed, in fact pedaling backwards seemed to only slow my momentum minimally and I found my old way of hand-braking a comforting companion. I proceeded down the street, up the hill and back down again. The hills of this world felt slightly different from the hills I had known previously as I felt it almost easier to climb with the momentum of the bike carrying me with the option to stop pedaling absent. Reaching the crest of the hill, I turned to head back in the direction from whence I came. Descending the incline, I felt more in control than I had on descents in the Single Speed but could feel the pressure building on my knees. If anything my brake pads could live a longer life in this land though. After a short journey inland of less than two miles I returned to my home base, resting to contemplate my next move and take in this new experience.

Within hours I began to notice aches in both of my knees obviously brought on by the intense demand of this dark new world. Taking into consideration the history of knee problems plaguing my lineage as well as myself I began to seriously consider my options. Was this pain and suffering worth enduring to find what this place had to offer? Would all this be worth the content life I had loved and left behind? I could not see how and therefore my mind was made up. I would retrace my route and return to the single speed at once.

Only resting the hours I took to contemplate, I wasted no time in heading back in the direction of my home.

When I returned, all was as I had left it. Fatigued, I sat back to take in the view of such a wonderful, simple world. My world. The Single Speed.

A War of Words

Today Collin's Cycle Shop picked the top 5 essays in their "Free Fixed Gear" essay contest. The picks were based on votes and well, unfortunately, yours truly was not in the top 5. This came as a surprise as I had counted the essays with the top votes first thing this morning and was sure that I was #4 however it turned out that not all essays were tagged properly so I didn't count a few mediocre (at best) essays written by some very pretty and premiscous young ladies (or so they'd have you believe). Apparently the male majority will favor anything fabricated by an individual that remotely portrays a somewhat attractive member of the opposite sex. Who'd have thought? My only real discrepancy with the outcome of the essay contest would be the lack of rules as pertains to spelling and grammar. Had such rules been in place the Seventh Grade Teacher who just so happened to rack up the most votes would be disqualified (I recently rescued a couple of used 80’s Japanese touring bikes for my wife and I?) No offense to the essay contest leader though, we all can't be professional computer nerds with no college education.

To those of you who didn't vote for me and feel bad that I didn't win: I can do nothing to soothe your guilt, that's just something you'll have to learn to live with. (I hear that it gets easier to accept over time). It may ease your mind to know that I already have three bikes so I'll likely get by.

To my peeps who did vote for me: Thank you for your support. Unfortunately you won't be getting a ride on a free fixed gear anytime soon however next time you're in the neighborhood and find me in a generous enough mood you may find yourself on the receiving end of a ride on a single-speed road bike, cruiser, or vintage ten speed. Stay off the trike, it belongs to my kid!

So what have I learned from this experience? I should base all future essay contest writings from the viewpoint of a highly sexually active, early twenty-something female who has an unusual attractions for bike nerds. Now I just need to come up with a pen name. Suggestions?

Finally I felt that my essay or story, if you will, deserved nothing more than to come home after such a hard-fought battle. So without further delay, I give you



"A Brave New World"

It was the spring of '07 and the pedals of my cycle called to me like a long-lost love. With record oil prices looming, the threat of global climate change and a rapidly declining economy that would make even the devil himself shriek; I answered the call.

Upon the completion of my first 16 mile round trip to my daily place of business I found myself thrust into the world of cycling, a permanent resident. From the neighborhoods of Thurston to the rough and tumble streets of downtown Springtucky to the bike paths of Tracktown USA littered with transients, junkies, runners and my newly acquired brethren of cyclists; every moment was pure joy. And while joyous it was, within two months I found the serenity of the ride interrupted by a horrendous racket equivalent to that of fingernails on the chalkboard. Growing increasingly unbearable by the day, the demonic shrieks from below continued in the attempt to sabotage my ride but this was only fuel for my fire. My drive to overcome the evil that imprisoned my bicycle took me to places unimaginable by any man. This battle I would continue to fight until on the sixty-third day a revelation came to me, a relieving yet utterly disappointing realization that this battle could not be won. Not by myself nor by my enemy who had come to be known only as The Derailleur. It was a battle that could exceed time if not ceased soon. Thus I saw it in my best interest to save my energy and retreat from this bitter war. With my hatred for The Derailleur now engulfing my entire life, I knew I could no longer exist this way.

It was not until I had returned from the battle front in my mentally fragile state, weakened and exhausted that I learned of a Utopia of sorts. A paradise unscathed by the tormenting ways of The Derailleur that had plagued the rest of the cycling world. A peaceful state known only as the Single Speed. Something drew me to this bold new world. My passion for simplicity coupled with my love of the cycle, possibly? Whatever it was, something of this new world felt faintly familiar but exactly what it was I could not decipher. Nevertheless, it was on my mind around the clock. Nothing more could please me than the thought of such a wonderful state in which I could have my cake and eat it too, cycling in peace without even the slightest threat of The Derailleur and it's Napoleon-esque complex invading my way of life. Was this what was meant for me? Perhaps my recent battle had not been fruitless, after all would I not be so humbly appreciative of the Single Speed way of life if not for my bitter feud with The Derailleur?

Months have now passed since taking up residency in the world of the Single Speed. With the exception of a fortnight spent nursing a knee injury, every day lived here has been nothing short of joyous. They say we are creatures of habit and perhaps it is because of this that my rambling ways always seem to come calling. While I may still be considered youthful by many accounts, the days only allow for me to grow older. Recently I have heard talk of a new place, a more simple way, even more simplistic than that of the Single Speed some say. They call it the Fixed Gear. They say the simplicity is such that the need for handbrakes is obsolete. The cycle can be stopped by merely "pedalling backwards". Some say they are crazy, that this cannot be. Regardless, the prospect of this Fixed Gear intrigues me, drawing me like a moth to a flame. I must judge for myself. I will move swiftly and embark on this rugged new world at once but I shall not go it alone. For I fear that I cannot succeed in such a place without the company of my trusty Peugeot whom has fallen prisoner to The Derailleur and its army of Ten Cogs. Liberating the craft will be a not be a terribly easy task but a necessary task nonetheless as nobody deserves a chance at the Fixed Gear life more than my Peugeot. As I plot the rescue of my trusty cycle, I have come to realize that such a feat would not be wise to attempt alone. I must gather a crew. Word around town has it that there is no better crew to be found than the Team at Collins Cycle Shop but will they do it? Will they stand beside me in my attempt to free my trusty craft from the evil clutches of The Derailleur and seek a new life in the world of the Fixed Gear? It is said that they have experience in this field, but can I trust them? My instincts tell me I can. I have no other option I must go to them at once for I cannot do this without them.

Body for Life Challenge- Round 1, 1/7/08-3/30/08

When a co-worker came to me with the idea of competing in the Body For Life Challenge, I was receptive and fancied the idea of a good challenge. The thought of the required commitment was a little intimidating but I felt as if it was time to add another chapter to my life transformation. In three years I had lost 60 lbs strictly from running 5 days a week and watching what I ate which at the time mean not over-indulging on a regular basis. Although all this weight was gone, my clothes fit better and I felt much like a new person, I was by no means fit but rather a "skinny fat guy". At 6'0" tall and 185 lbs, I still had a gut and little muscle tone in my upper body.

After several temporarily successful "fad" diets I peaked at 245 lbs nearly 4 years ago. Like many, I have struggled with weight loss for much of my adult life, which was a somewhat foreign environment for me after grown up a relatively skinny, active kid. In 2004 my second son was born 12 weeks premature and as a result had to live on a breathing machine. This being a very trying time for our family, I found myself running more on a regular basis as I felt that it wasn't fair that I had two healthy lungs and my son had none so I had better put mine to good use. Running served as an emotional outlet as well which I never realized the therapeutic potential of so much until after my son left this world at 7 weeks of age. The year following our tragedy would prove an emotional test, which we eventually overcame. I can honestly say that I would not have made it through this difficult period without my now favorite past time of running. While it would have been easy to go in the opposite direction, dealing with loss by overindulgence and recklessness, I knew that I needed to ride this emotional wave out using the most positive tools available to me in order to get back on track for my family as well as myself. Two years later, the bulk of the extra weight was gone but not all of the fat. This time the weight would remain off as my fitness continued, eventually shifting from running to cycling 8 miles to work and back home each day.

In October 2007, a co-worker with experience as a personal trainer, approached me about weight training. This sounded like an interesting idea and much like what I needed, until he explained the Body for Life Challenge, which really got my attention. In the weeks to come I learned more about the Body For Life Challenge through the Body for Life website and Bill Phillips book and I was astonished not only by the before and after pictures of past competitors but by the philosophies of the program that echoed my personal fitness shortcomings, like weight training and a diet that made sense. For quite some time, I had known and said that I needed to change my eating habits but was afraid to commit to a diet due to past experiences with fad diets. I had always heard others refer to diets as more of a "lifestyle change" but such a term never really appealed to me until I learned of the Body for Life nutrition program. The prospect of six meals per day and one free day each week was all I needed to get on board with this lifestyle change.

After a month of unexplained lower abdominal pain that my doctor could only guess may be due to an acid problem, I began my challenge on January 7, 2008. My initial weight saw me at 194lbs, no discredit to the abundance of goodies within my reach throughout the recent holiday season; my body fat 25% and my still unfit waist at 40". Following the program, I immediately found myself much more energetic despite having weaned myself of coffee a week prior and within days that pesky lower abdominal pain was gone. My first free day saw me making two meals out of a cheeseburger and onion rings that would have been an easy meal, if not an appetizer just a week before. And would you believe that after what turned out to be a rather disappointing inaugural free day, I found myself sluggish and not as thrilled as I expected I would be? This taught me that even though you may choose to take a free day, it is in your best interest to keep up on your protein intake and try no to overdo it on anything, especially carbs. Throughout the entire challenge, I supplemented my post workout meal with EAS Vanilla 100% Whey Protein mixed with a serving of Phosphagen and 100% natural Orange Juice, making for an very good vanilla creamsicle-like drink. Evenings saw my last meal normally, a Chocolate shake concocted of EAS chocolate protein powder, skim milk, and frozen fruit. I was sure to keep Myoplex bars and EAS Advantage bars on hand for emergencies.

Within three weeks, I saw 2 inches gone from my waist and 10 lbs of scale weight out the door. Every day in the gym, I saw myself grow stronger and learned the importance and fundamentals of weight training. Weight training was nothing new to me however, successful weight training was as past stints with weight training yielded little to no results for me which I have come to learn were do mostly to mental strength and willpower. I had heard the old adage of "No Pain, no gain" and up until I started the Body for Life just thought it to be another lame, mainstream saying and while lame it may be it is truly that simple. This challenge has taught me that sore muscles are not necessarily a bad thing. A sore (uninjured) body to me, now means that the training is working, it's gotten to the point where I almost crave soreness on post workout days.

The cardio side of the challenge came easy to me for obvious reasons previously stated. In the beginning, I parked my bicycle, careful not to over-train, out of concern of burning muscle or placing too much stress on my body. I began the challenge riding a stationary bike in the comfort of my family room, which despite the comfort felt foreign to me. Prior to this my normal cardio required coexisting with the meteorological elements of the Pacific Northwest, which I was more than content with, adding to my list of lame clichés, "What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger". I soon grew bored with the cozy, family room cardio sessions and was back to my old ways- running the streets of my neighborhood, which seemed to yield better results in regards to fat loss. A little more than halfway through the challenge, my passion for cycling overcame me and I decided to curb the car get back on the bike, careful to take it easier on non-cardio days and working the cardio into my commute on cardio days. At this point, the body fat almost seemed to melt off as I saw some of the quickest and best fat loss results of the challenge.

To date I have lost 24lbs of scale weight, 15% body fat and 6 inches from my waist. Around week 7 of the challenge, I found myself in need of proper fitting pants. I bought two pairs of pants, which no longer fit two weeks later, but I guess that's why we have belts, which by the way I had to replace for similar reasons as well. At the end of the challenge, I have met and exceeded my three main goals-
• To be in the best shape of my life by my 30th birthday
• To lose 20lbs of fat
• Change my eating habits
It seems that I have finally made that “lifestyle change” which the Body for Life has taught me goes far beyond just diet. I plan to continue the way of the Body for Life, indefinitely. This is a program that anyone can do and when followed, will yield the most positive results of any fitness program. As this program has become part of my life, I spread the word of the Body for Life to anyone who will listen- friends, family, or strangers and will continue to do so, serving as living proof that this program can and will better your life. By accepting the Body for Life Challenge, you have nothing to lose except weight and bad habits.

Gettin Up There

About seven years ago I sat in my office and listened to a colleague spew these words in total seriousness, "He's up there, he's at least thirty!" In reference to another co-worker. While this got a chuckle out of me, others in the room who were "up there" by his standards did not find this statement nearly as amusing. At the time I knew that thirty was coming but had no idea how fast. Well here I am and as I vowed back in January, I am in the best shape of my life. I can also add that for the first time since high school I weigh under 180lbs.

It's been an eventful, emotional and joyful ride to this point having married, had two children, survived one child, adopted two more children, bought a house, sold a house and bought another. For the most part I can say that life has been good to me and although I am still very green I will say that being "up there" feels good.

So what are my plans for the decade of "up there"? Well for one, I would like to waste a lot less time than I did in my twenties which doesn't necessarily mean staying busy so much as making better, more productive use of my time coinciding with taking plenty of time to relax both of which can fall under logging more time on my bicycles, yes that is plural- bicycles.

After suggesting that my wife not buy me anything for my birthday as there is much I want but really nothing that I need; I woke up to a nice musical card (a new tradition in our house). Along with this was a set of bamboo windchimes, larger than the ones that I left at our old house, you can mock me all you want, but I love the sound of these things. It was a nice surprise, I kind of expected the card, but not the chimes. The whole ride home last night I couldn't stop thinking of the Sloppy Joe dinner that awaited me at home, seeming to fuel my already growing hunger. A hunger that was quickly curbed when I routinely arrived at home somewhere between 5:45 and 6pm, put my bike away, hung my helmet, gloves and specs from the bars and went inside. Walking in the entry way to place my bag on top of the shoe caddy by the front door I glanced in the living room and there, with balloons tied to the handlebars, was the Cruiser from REI that I had jokingly suggested to my wife as a birthday idea for me a few weeks back! My wife, being sure that I had already foiled the surprise due to such a track record, continued to quiz me throughout the night as to if I really had no idea which I assured her that I have never been less suspicious of a gift from her. Judging by the sheer width of the tires, it didn't take long to realize that this bike wouldn't be making too many, if any, commutes to work but the initial reason I even suggested such a bike was for family and leisure rides. After a quick spin around the 'hood last night, I really can't wait until sunnier days are here as this is not a bike that I want exposed to the elements, not yet at least.

I have to conclude that getting "Up There" by the McNutt standard has to be one of the best things that has happened to me in years. I hope that McNutt can agree with me on this come next year.

What's Not Fair About Rain

Maybe it has something to do with being one of what seems few Pacific Northwest Residents actually born and raised here but I've always struggeled to understand people's concerns with being out in the rain. Isn't that why they make raingear? I mean, sure if you can stay inside and be dry why not? But that's not always an option, especially for us who have a passion for two-wheeled machinery. Don't like gas prices? Don't like rain? Don't like pollution? Looks like you find yourself in a predicament in which you'll be making a sacrifice. Just ask yourself what's more important.


In my case I don't totally dislike the rain. I will admit that it does get old after some time and it can feel somewhat depressing when you haven't seen the sun in a couple of weeks but what's really that bad about it, especially if you have the proper gear? It seems like since I've been back on the bike for the last week, half of the days have been totally dry until 5 p.m. or just before which just so happens to be when I leave work. Not to worry, I always commute prepared. Taking up residence in my messenger bag are gortex rainpants, a cycling rain jacket, and rain booties (see my gear list). Depending on how hard I ride, I remain dry for the most part with the exception of occaisonal perspiration on the inside of my gear but this time of year the air tends to be a little cooler so the perspiration is minimal.
What about the commute to work? If it's raining or the roads are wet enough to kick up spray from passing cars, I don the rain gear and pack my work clothes in my messenger bag. *Tip whether it be your rain gear or work clothes, you can maximize space in your bag by individually rolling your clothes up tightly. I have yet to arrive at work and discover wrinkled clothes in my bag.* When I arrive at work, I change in the locker room which can also be done in the restroom if you do not have access to a locker room. If my raingear tends to be wet I keep it out of the bag, of course, and hang it to dry at my desk (I have a small step ladder that I use for this, hangers also work well) and by the time 5:00 rolls around my gear is dry and ready to either wear home or go back in the bag depending on the weather. I'm always sure to carry an extra plastic bag as the booties tend to get gritty and dirty and if I'm not wearing them home this helps to avoid getting the inside of my bag and its contents dirty.

I prefer Gore-Tex rainpants as they are breathable, durable and do an excellent job repelling the rain. As far as my jacket, I only wear a light cycling jacket which is easy to bundle under on colder days and bright yellow so that I am visible to motorists. Being of lighter fabric, the jacket does not keep me 100% dry in heavier rains, the arms tend to get a little wet but I don't mind that as long as the rest of the torso, legs and feet stay dry. The rain booties, handmade at the Center for Appropriate Transport right here in Eugene, have been my best raingear investment as to me a pair of dry feet are nearly priceless.

Many may not see the need for sunglasses unless the sun is shining as I encounter numerous other bike commuters, daily, not wearing eye protection. Next to a helmet, I strongly believe that eye protection is the most important piece of gear that a cyclist should wear, especially if you're sharing roads with automobiles. I can't tell you how many times I've taken a bug on the glasses at high speeds, thankfully cleaning glasses is a lot less painful and cheaper than a trip to the doctor. I wear optics with a yellow tint (see my gear) which help to draw in light in lower-light conditions and block UV rays as well as hold down glare on sunnier days. Believe it or not, optics help in the rain also, allowing me to see better as I do not have to squint to avoid stinging raindrops in my eyes. Rain usually tends to bead up and slide off the glasses and impaired vision is rarely an issue. As far as fogging up of the glasses, the only time I've had a problem with this is during longer intervals at stop lights. A little bit of dish soap applied without water and buffed clean can help against fogging. I have also found specs to be especially convenient on cold, dry mornings; keeping my eyes from watering.

Now, you have one less excuse to keep you off the bike so get out there and ride!

Advocacy for Alternative Commuting

So being back on my bike has inspired me to become more of an advocate for alternative commuting, more specifically cycling which will be the main focus of most of my blahg topics in weeks to come. My main reason being well... I guess I have several reasons-

First and foremost, simplicity. The busyness of todays world has in some way consumed just about all Westerners and many others around the world, yours truly included. Frankly the whole thing disgusts me- people regularly working 50+ hour weeks, not having time for anything including the family that they supposedly work so hard for, hell it's amazing that some even find the time to go SUV shopping for that chariot whose payments depend on that high profile, top priority job. Life is too complicated and in many cases too difficult in today's material world, which we as consumers have had a strong hand in creating. Alternative means of commuting force me to minimize what I perceive are my needs and recognize my true needs in turn making my life simpler.

Environment. The jury is out people. Or is it? Regardless of what you believe has contributed to it, whether it be emissions, mother nature or terra, global warming is real. If you can honestly look me in the eye with a straight face and tell me that you believe that automobile emissions are not harmful for our planet then you are a fool. Enough said.

Fitness. I was recently asked if I ever feel tired after riding to work and my response was this, "From day one it (bike commuting) has never left me tired, only more alert and I have more energy when I get home which I don't if I drive as I literally fight sleep on the drive home. " I will add that I often do get hungry and am ready to eat the moment my feet hit the ground. But in regard to fitness, I did lose some weight on the bike. I can't say for sure how much and I definitely gained some muscle definition in the legs.

Have you seen the price of gas these days? Ya, tell me about it. I bet that you probably already knew that bicycles require no fuel other than the food that you put into your body. Not to mention all dependencies on anyone but yourself are out the window, or rather over the handlebars. Self sufficiency? If you ask me, it definitely has its perks.

Many people won't even turn a cheek to alternative commuting because it's inconvenient or not as cool looking as their Yukon. Seriously, nothing looks more ridiculous that one person driving around in full sized SUV. Now that we've covered that, how about that inconvenience? Say my wife calls and needs me to pick up a loaf of bread on the way home, that's what my messenger bag is for right? Or what about a rear rack? Or ever panniers? Sure not everything about this is convenient but if you do a bit of smart planning it can work. Depending on how far you want to take this, you can get a bike trailer which on average can haul up to 100 lbs.

Realizing that alternative means of transportation are not convenient for everyone, they are convenient for more people than are aware. And while you may live a little too far from work to ride a bike or do not have bus service in their neighborhood, you may want to consider carpooling or hybrid commuting. Driving to the park and ride and taking the bus the rest of the way to work or cycling from the park and ride or cycling to the park and ride and taking the bus the rest of the way. So, I challenge you to explore your options and do your part, who knows you might become obsessed like I did and make a hobby of it.

What motivates me to Ride?

A recent post on one of my favorite sites, Commute By Bike, got my "wheels turning" so to speak in regards to why I prefer my bike over my car. This was echoed this morning as instead of "Springing Forward" I "Fell Back". Succumbing to the evil ways of the Daylight Savings Time change, I awoke to see the alarm clock that I had updated prior to going to sleep last night read 7:10. 7:10, that's only an hour and ten minutes later than I normally wake up on a work day and only about 5 minutes or so later than the time I normally leave. The first question to pop into my head was, "Do I drive?" and the first answer was, "Hell no! Just ride faster." Good answer. Since "I ain't got time to stink" (props to Jesse Venture in Predator, yeah I twisted the line a bit) I promptly jumped in the shower washed as fast as I could, got dressed, took my vitamins, packed what seemed to be a month's supply of foot into my messenger bag and I was off, only to turn back when I noticed that I didn't have my ID badge for work or so I thought. I couldn't, for the life of me, remember where I put that badge after my wet ride home on Friday but the only logical place I could imagine was my messenger bag so I said, "Screw it" in hopes to find the badge when I arrived at work which I did. About 10 minutes into my 7.9 mile ride I decided to call work and leave a voicemail to inform them that unless I could locate the hidden nitrox booster on my bike, I would most likely be a few minutes late. Well, only a few minutes couldn't have been a more accurate estimate. I arrived with a time of 28:21 on my bike computer and walked into the office only 5 minutes late, time that would easily be shaved off of my morning break.
So why did I do it? It's hard to pinpoint just one reason. Up until last Wednesday, I had garaged my bike and was driving for the last 2 months. I did this in favor of the Body For Life Challenge in fear of possibly "overdoing it" and burning muscle or stressing my body out, resulting in higher cortisol levels, causing me to store more fat. Well about last Wednesday I just couldn't take it anymore, with daylight savings time looming, the cost of gas on the rise and having recently been sick I couldn't have been more ready to be back in the saddle. So I did it and needless to say, I have yet to see any negative impacts in regards to the Body for Life, as I have dropped over 1% of body fat in the last week. I arrive at work in a better mood and at home in a better mood with much more energy, believe it or not. When I drive to work, I literally fight sleep on the way home.
Much like the rest of the country, the rising of cost of gas prices sickens me and I feel fortunate to be in a situation which allows me to do something about it which to me means not buy their damn gas. Yes I realize that maybe the lack of my contributions won't cause prices to fall and maybe the oil companies are so loaded with evil greed that if the entire world quit driving it wouldn't make a difference. But maybe my reasoning is a little more selfish because if they want to charge that much then maybe I don't want to buy their damn gas. I do believe in Global Warming but as always, remain a skeptic to some degree. I don't know if I'm 100% sold on the fact that emissions from our cars are a major contributing factor but I can tell you that regardless of my skepticism, I strongly feel the toxins being released into the air by our cars are not doing us or this home that we call "Earth" any favors.
A major factor that motivates me to get up and ride my bike to work every day is the thought that I'm depending on nobody but myself; no attendant at the pump, no cashier inside the gas station, no delivery truck driver, no oil exec, etc. There's something about the simplicity of man working with machine. And in the busy world that we live in where everyone is addicted to stuff, yours truly included, and everyone is so busy trying to get rich to afford more stuff, the euphoric state that is riding my bicycle is one that I would not trade for all the stuff in the world or the ability to arrive at work early every day. From a mental standpoint, if all of those who are in a position to curb their cars and ride a bike more, could only realize that this option and take the plunge, this world would be a better place.
While cars have their advantages in some situations I am thankful that in my daily travels the bike has the upper hand. There are many out there who don't realize the opportunity that lies before them and the advantages of it, I challenge you to explore your options and do your part, if not for the world, for yourself. Ride a bike!

http://efilrofydob.blogspot.com/

I figure that I hadn't changed blahg addresses in a while but kind of like what I have here now so I just decided to give my Body for life challenge its own blahg. Check it out- http://efilrofydob.blogspot.com/

Week 4- 8 more to go

Okay, interesting week. As of this morning I am down 11 lbs (scale weight) 3.5 inches off of my waist. I suspect that in the next week or so my scale weight will start slowly increasing due to muscle gain but we'll see.

What did I learn during Week 4?

1. Postponing free day until Wednesday didn't agree with my body. Monday, I came home early from work with diarrhea and a headache.
2. Ballet squats hurt.
3. Thank goodness for sugar free cough drops
4. The Olive Garden is a nice break on your free day

Favorite Week 4 foods/supplements:

1. Asian Beef and Noodles
2. Whole Wheat French Toast and Scrambled Eggs with Organic Peanut Butter and Sugar Free Syrup
3. Green Tea and Blueberry Whey Protein Smoothie
4. Chai Spice Yerba Mate

So, with 1/3 of the challenge behind us things are beginning to shape up nicely. My gut is getting smaller, almost by the day and I'm looking more toned especially through the shoulders, chest and upper arms not to mention the legs, according to my wife. We'll see what week 5 brings...

Out of Time...

You were closer than family
Never leaving my side
Seems like everywhere I went
You were along for the ride

You were truly divine
Seems you always had time

No matter what I'd do
Seems you always came through

But as I wandered about
I guess your time ran out

With you to the end
I won't forget you, my friend

Nothing less than the best
You were always top notch
And no matter what comes along
You'll always be my favorite watch

RIP My Pulsar 2002-2008

Week 3- Big Changes to Come

Well, not a lot to say here. I'm definitely seeing physical changes and all is well. Not a whole lot new to report. What did I learn in week 3?

1. My legs are capable of much more than I have given them credit for.
2. Baked apple and cottage cheese = Yuck
3. Use your cottage cheese wisely.
4. Even on a diet, I can't seem to keep peanut butter in the house.
5. Kirkland Cinnamon from Costco is the best damn Cinnamon I've ever had.
6. Sugar free syrup is a lot better with a tablespoon of peanut butter on your pancakes.
7. I'm starting to make peace with the dumbbell lunges

Favorite Week 3 Recipes:

• Protein pancakes are still a savior
• Can't beat the Fuji Apple and Cottage Cheese
• Orange-Creamsicle post-workout shake (Vanilla Whey Protein with Orange Juice)
• Tacos with Ground Buffalo

That's about it. So on to week 4, I'm postponing free day to Wednesday this week so we'll see how that feels. Anyway...

Week 2 in the bag

Two weeks down and like 10 to go or something but that's just for the challenge. I see no reason to quit this routine once the challenge ends. I wouldn't really consider this a diet, or rather may consider this a diet more than any fad diet as I am not starving or consuming massive amounts of protein and depriving myself of carbs and I can really see myself living my life this way on a more permanent level.

So what can be said for the workout portion? I love it! The weight training is great and I am really starting to see a change. For anyone who ever thought that weight training wasn't for them or didn't work, I can speak from experience when I say that you either weren't doing it properly or not lifting enough weight. If you're not straining to get that last rep up then that's not enough weight for you. I'll be honest, for me, weights suck in the beginning- getting used to new exercises, using muscles that you feel as if you never knew you had, and the soreness! Once you get into your routine, the soreness is nice as it gives you piece of mind that you are really doing something and it's never as bad as the first couple of weeks.

This whole free day thing is getting to be less and less important (we'll see what I'm saying around week 6) I mean, I guess it's cool to eat what you want but it's not cool to feel like crap even when you don't overindulge.

So, let's see what have I learned this week?

1. Creatine really works and is still not a steroid.
2. Forgetting your bag that holds your change of (work) clothes for the day may hinder or (in my case) suspend your morning workout.
   
3. This program is really for anyone. (consult your doctor if you have legitimate medical problems that don't include hypochondria, laziness or wussititis)
4. I don't think that protein bars agree with me.
   
5. Dumbbell lunges don't suck as bad as they did last week but I'm still not in love with them.
6. Cycling (for exercise not commuting) in 32 degree weather is a hell of a lot harder than running in 20 degree weather. If I keep that up I'll have to wear goretex gloves and invest in a mask of some sort.
   
7. It's kind of hard to write this when my cat won't get off of my lap.

Favorite week 2 foods:

Turkey Chili
Turkey Sammich on wheat with lettuce, dijon, lowfat mayo, pickles, onions, pepperoncinis, and a little part skim mozzarella
Chocolate-Raspberry-Peanut Butter shake
Orange cream-sickle post workout Whey Protein Shake
Costco Fuji Apple (the best ever!) with Cottage Cheese
Protein Pancakes

So the saga continues, I feel good and plan on trying some new grub this week so we'll see how that goes. Thus far, I've lost around 6 lbs and an two inches from my waist. I'm down to only a couple of pairs of pants that don't completely try to slide off my ass every five seconds and all my long sleeve shirts are continue to grow closer to the 3/4 sleeve mark but fortunately all jackets still fit. I'm trying to hold off on buying any clothes until this challenge is over so we'll see how long I can hold out.

One Week Down 11 to Go

Looks like I've successfully survived week one of the Body for Life Challenge and a wiser man am I . So what did I learn in week one of the challenge?

Lets see, first off eating smaller portions is great when you're eating 6 times a day however even when you're as carnivorous as I, eating a portion of protein 6 times a day can be a challenge itself. Thankfully we have protein powder and because of protein powder we have protein shakes.

Second of all, Cottage Cheese is one diverse mofo! To quote Kenny Rogers, "I was raised on the dairy, b*tch!" (dairy products that it). It was cottage cheese for me, every night growing up but I had no clue that you could put cinnamon in it and eat it with an apple and have it taste so damn good! Also, did you know that lowfat cottage cheese, fat free vanilla yogurt, sugar free/fat free cheesecake pudding mix, grapenuts and strawberries mixed together tastes just like cheesecake? True story. However, I will recommend that you not attempt mix cottage cheese in your oatmeal and eat it!

Third, no matter what your mom tells you, creatine is not a steroid and if you accidentally take too much of it your body will just get rid of it with tens of trips to the bathroom. Make sure to drink lots of water too, you'll get dehydrated. Oh and if you decide to make a trip to the store in this state beware that side-effects may include chewing out other customers who insist on blaming customer service cashiers for ridiculous store policies, indecisiveness and fatigue.

Fourth, the concept of a free day is a great one as is the actual free day itself but don't make plans for what favorite foods you plan on consuming that day. I never thought I'd see the day when a quarter pound burger and onion rings turned into two meals for me but in one week that day seems to have come. Sure, I could have powered the whole meal down but misery wasn't on my agenda for the day.

Fifth, dumbbell lunges suck!

Finally, I suck at cooking and have passed the torch to my favorite chef, Jenn.

Here is a list of my favorite week one foods:

Breakfast Burrito
Green Salad with Chicken Breast
Garlic-Lime Steak
Cheescake-like concoction
Chocolate-Peanutbutter Shake
Sweet Potato with cinnamon
Apples and Cottage Cheese with cinnamon.

All around, I feel better and have much more energy. I have quit coffee by choice, not as part of the diet and have also cut down on my tea consumption. So all is well. I do miss cycling to work every day but do not miss riding home in the dark and having to contend with idiot, psycho motorists. I think I'll hold off on cycling to work until the challenge is over and then go back to my full time schedule. I can already see a change in the definiton of my upper arms and shoulders, my long-sleeve shirts have become a little short in the arms, I guess that this would be a downside to weight training when you have monkey arms like mine but there's a simple solution, It's called short sleeves and when your arms have been puny your whole life it's hard to see a downside to them getting bigger.

Peace!

Less in '08

Okay, I'm going to lay it all out here. I very much dislike New Years, in my opinion it is the most worthless, depressing holiday there is, yes even more so than the one where you go to the cemetery. "Hey, let's go get drunk tonight because, well because we can, not because we really give a damn about the first day of the new year or the last day of the old year but just because it's an excuse to get drunk!" Ya, that used to be me too. Well this New Years eve was especially crappy to me because my ongoing abdominal pain, accompanied by nausea started to flare up when I walked in the door last night (sorry for the late cancellation Dan and Dixie). This would have really been a bummer for me 2 or 3 years ago when I was a still an alcohol consumer. So for the first time since I can remember, I spent a quiet New Years eve on the couch; thankfully the pain was intermittent so I was able to break for the occaisonal Smackdown vs. Raw match on the Wii.

So whoopee, yay, it's here, New years Day (queue the U2 song), and I'm happy to say that my day will not be wasted sleeping in and nursing a hangover and I'm not dehydrated either. Man, I sound old. Five years ago if you had told me that there would come a day when I didn't like beer anymore I would have gotten depressed and went out and got piss drunk! Okay maybe not, I was never that kind of beer drinker thankfully. And thanks to my former neighbor who was a Whiskey Salesman for helping me to realize that I'm not a drinker and that whiskey and my Native American blood do not mix.

So on to the festivities! Umm nevermind, this is seriously just another day to me folks. I'm not a huge football fanatic, I don't get obsessed over watching a bunch of sweaty dudes lay on top of each other. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a homophobe and I do enjoy the occasional college football game every now and then (Go Ducks!). Maybe it's just the non-conformist in me but I can't justify dedicating my life to that crap. A day off of work, for me this is a chance to play with my kids and help my wife in dealing with the every day insanity of raising three, very active, young boys.

So, 2008 is here and everyone has made their resolutions, those who know what a resolution is, and I have made a decision to change my lifestyle (health, not sexuality) that just coincidentally happens to begin in January- I don't do resolutions, this year anyway. This is all fine and dandy but the pessimist would like to see some things go away in '08 or at least see less of them. So heres the start of my list, feel free to comment and add your own-

• Less sunken-faced tweekers
• Less hostile rednecks that think they rule the road and have the right to tailgate other motorists, speed and brake at the last minute on the ice and completely disregard cyclists, pedestrians and pretty much anybody but themselves
• Less Britney (her sister should not be a replacement either)
• Less of multiple stories of the same event on the news/media websites
• Less War
• Less Government Spending/Deficit
• Less tax increases
• Less driving to work when possible (more cycling)
• Less of hippies telling you that you should not drive at all no matter what (If they had a job/kids they would understand)
• Less City Buses driving in the bike line
  
• Less SUVs
• Less price gouging on gas and everything else
  
• Less crappy music on the radio. How about a classic rock station that, one that plays more than 20 songs, Eugene?
• Less idiots riding the wrong way in the bike lane
  
• Less Wal-Mart/Wal-Mart shoppers
• Less fat people riding on the motorized carts at the grocery store reserved for individuals with legitimate ailments- applies mainly to Wal-Mart
• Less fat smokers with handicapped parking permits- again, mainly Wal-Mart
  
• Less Oregon Duck fans booing their own team and being drunken a-holes in general, you represent the rest of us in a negative manner and give us a bad name
  
• Less people obsessing over watching athletics and more actually getting off their fat asses and participating in a physical activity. How hard is it to ride an exercise bike or lift wieghts while you're watching football all day?
  
• Less, actually No knowledge of religious affiliation amongst government officials/candidates
• Less defiance from my kids
• Less noise in my house
  
• Less corporations
• Less gambling/glorification of gambling and the loose classification of poker as a sport
• Less NASCAR- not a sport either, stands for Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks
• Less pet breeders
• Less middle-class white kids speeding around in small cars with annoying loud mufflers, thinking that they are thugs
  
• Less people worrying about what two consenting adults want to get married
• Less TV
• Less teenagers pooping in my driveway
  
• Less people worrying about the fairness of mountain lion hunting with dogs and more people worrying about population control, urban growth, conserving land and cougars attacking humans
• Less abdominal pain
  
• And finally, Less Bush Administration

Oh ya, I almost forgot- MORE COWBELL!!!